December - With You Always

December. Everyone’s all about joy and cheer. Me? I can’t. I can’t even fake it this year. This year drained me. Everything. I’m tired—so deep down tired that it’s like my bones are tired.

I’m grieving. Grieving dreams I’ve carried for decades. They’re gone. And part of me feels like it left with them.

And still…God shows up. Quiet. Steady. Doesn’t rush me. Doesn’t try to fix me on a timeline. Just sits with me in the dark. Reminds me I’m not alone.

I think about the Israelites wandering for forty years. Not lost. Just learning who they belonged to. I get that. I let lies live in me forever—lies about who I am, what I deserve, what I could hope for. They shaped me. Some of the pain is mine; some just happens. But God? Never left. Never stopped guiding. Never stopped loving.

So this Christmas? It’s not sparkly. Not magical. Just God stepping into the mess and saying, “I’m here. I’ve never left.”

Jesus came into this broken, messy world to meet us exactly where we are. To bring hope that doesn’t care what we’ve lost. To remind us that even in grief, love is still here. His love holds when everything else feels gone.

So I cling to this:
God is still here.
God hasn’t walked away.
Even if a dream died, His love didn’t. And hope—real, steady, messy hope—is still alive.